


Listen to My Heart

by spierfics



Series: Spierfeld AU Collection [72]
Category: Love Simon (2018), Simonverse | Creekwood Series - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Deaf Character, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-11-09 08:24:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20850413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spierfics/pseuds/spierfics
Summary: larluce on tumblr prompted: AU where Simon is deaft, but can speak and read lips, but prefers not to speak so people wont make fun of his voice. Bram, who doesn't know sign language but still manages to have small chats with simon, has had a crush on him for a while now and decides to learn sign language in order to ask him out. He's surprise when Simon asks him out first, overcoming his fears, using his voice.





	Listen to My Heart

When people first meet Simon, they are often surprised to find out he wasn’t born deaf. It shocks them that he lost his hearing at age ten, and that often garners sympathy. 

Simon never knew how to respond to those people. He knew he wasn’t any less deaf than a person who was born without hearing, however, he also remembers what it was like to hear.

Simon would often wake up some mornings, believing he was slowly forgetting what certain noises would sound like. His family members’ voices had faded away over the years, and Simon would make-up what their voices sounded like in his head. He often tried to cling to songs he used to hear as a kid, never wanting their melodies to be lost. He’d hum to himself when he was alone, relying on the vibrations to keep the memory of those tunes alive.

Simon knew he could still speak, but it had been ages since he’d actually engaged in a conversation with someone that wasn’t in sign language. It was just easier. He dreaded the idea of speaking to another person and being unable to judge what his own voice sounded like. It had always been too much pressure, and that was the last thing Simon needed.

Having very recently come out publicly, Simon knew it gave another reason for people to treat him like an oddity, and Simon wanted to keep a low radar. People would always talk, and Simon was partially grateful he didn’t have to hear their crap.

_

Simon felt a heavy pat on his shoulder and knew it was Nick.

“**Hey**,” Nick signed. “**Can I copy your math homework?**”

Simon shook his head no, but Nick was already opening Simon’s bag and digging through it for the assignment.

Simon finally felt his friend stop shuffling around, and tapped Nick in order to ask him where Leah and Abby were.

“Oh,” Nick stopped to think for a moment, and then continued to sign, “**They said to meet them in the art room. Need approval for the mid-term project**”

As they headed to meet Leah and Abby, Simon passed Nick’s teammates Bram and Garrett in the hallway. Garrett was speaking too fast for Simon to read his lips, but he noticed Bram give him a smile and a small wave. Simon’s heart skipped a beat before shyly waving back.

Bram was something special. Besides Leah, Abby and Nick, Bram was the only person Simon felt like talking too. Even though their conversations had only occurred via e-mail, Bram quickly found a space in Simon’s heart over and beyond someone he had a massive crush on.

—

Garrett clapped his hands in front of Bram’s to snap him out of his daze.

“Dude. Are you listening?” Garrett asked, halting his commentary on weird Instagram ads he encountered recently.

“I am, I am…” Bram said, his mind clearly adrift. It had been quite a week for him.

Sunday morning he’d found out that the boy he’d been crushing on for over two years was gay. Sunday evening, Bram started learning how to sign his name. It had only been a few days, but Bram was determined.

At the expense of his homework, Bram had learned a few key conversational pieces and one specific phrase. Bram figured he’d give himself one more day to ask Simon out. Simon publicly coming out via his Tumblr was probably the bravest thing Bram had ever seen, and Bram realized it was probably time that he pluck up some courage as well.

—

“**Hey**,” Leah signed while speaking when Nick and Simon walked into the room. Abby waved hello, and spoke slowly so that Simon could read her lips. 

Unlike Nick and Leah, who had begun to learn sign language soon after Simon lost his hearing, Abby was only a few months into an ASL crash course. She couldn’t keep up with their signing, so all their conversations were a mix of hand signals and lip-reading for Simon.

He didn’t mind too much, Abby was wonderful, and she was trying. That was all that mattered to Simon.

After covering their bases regarding the quality of the art project, Simon sat at a nearby desk, browsing his phone for the next few minutes. They all had half an hour before their next class, and Simon wanted to look through the comments and likes on his coming-out post once again.

Almost all of them were positive, Nora and Leah had taken on the few trolls, personally reporting those accounts. One comment, in particular, caught his eye, the user: _bluegreen118_ had commented a single blue heart emoji, as well as liked his post. Simon knew that was Bram, and an unexplained warmth spread throughout him every time he looked at that heart.

When Simon glanced up from his phone, he saw that Nick, Abby and Leah were all engaged in a conversation that didn’t involve him. He quickly managed to read two words on Leah’s lips: ‘_Bram Greenfeld_’.

He snapped his fingers to get their attention. “**Wait**!” He signed. “**What about Bram?**” 

They all seemed a little confused, and Simon realized he had just used the sign he had made up for Bram’s name. It was a ‘B’ with the sign for ‘cute’.

“**What about B-R-A-M?**” Simon repeated. 

He signed Bram’s name too fast for Abby to pick up on, but Nick clarified it for her and answered Simon.

“**Nothing**,” Nick brushed off quickly.

“It is not nothing,” Leah replied, signing excitedly. “**B-R-A-M likes you, Si**!”

Simon felt his face getting red, and an uncontrollable smile appeared on his face.

“**See**,” Abby signed hesitantly, “**I knew Si liked…**”

Abby paused, slowly spelling out Bram’s name. Simon knew the ASL alphabet was difficult to pick up on, especially if someone wasn’t using it on a daily basis.

“**Did B-R-A-M tell you?**” Simon asked in a rush.

“**No. G-A-R-E-T did**,” Nick said, skipping over the unnecessary repetitive letters in Garrett’s name. “**He was talking about how Bram had been distracted. By you.**”

Simon could not believe it. All this time, Bram had actually been Cute Gay Bram Greenfeld instead of Cute Ally Bram Greenfeld.

—

Today was the day. It had been five days since he’d decided to tell Simon how he felt, and Bram knew he couldn’t delay it any longer. He was walking towards back towards his car to get his phone, having nervously forgotten it. 

Bram kept practicing signing, looking at his hands to make sure they weren’t shaky. He learned that bobbing your hands while signing was annoying for deaf individuals. And he didn’t want to mess this up, Simon deserved the best. And though Bram knew he was far from it, he wasn’t going to give up the chance to try.

A hand tapped his slightly on his shoulder, and Bram looked back, almost jumping back in surprise.

Simon Spier was right in front of him, and Bram supposed the universe was telling him to hurry up before he lost the nerve.

Before he could even sign ‘hello’ he heard something that shook him to his core.

“Hey,” Simon said so softly it was barely above a whisper. “I…wanted…I wanted to…”

As he spoke, Bram saw Simon’s hands involuntarily signing something, and it could have been his brain going haywire but Bram was sure he recognized those signals. Only because he’d spent the week learning them.

“I wanted to ask you on a date,” Simon blurted out in a rush, breathing in shakily as if he couldn’t believe he had just done that.

Bram felt breathless, and it was only the hopeful look in Simon’s eyes that snapped him back into reality and he quickly signed “**Yes. Good, date is good.**”

His signing was far from perfect, but Simon didn’t seem to mind, which put Bram at ease. Simon wanted to go out on a date with him, and at that moment, Bram figured that they understood each other perfectly.


End file.
